I gave a quick presentation about adult filters this past weekend, and during the research time, I realized I wanted to find out more.
Each of you sees, feels and hears something different in all situations; therefore, you can’t expect anyone else – even your best friend, spouse, partner – to agree with how you see, feel or hear about someone else, fashion, sports, a person – boss, co-worker, girl/boyfriend – book, play, etc. (Long sentence!) We want our best friends, spouses, partners, co-workers to view the world the same way we do, and that’s never going to happen because of …your filters.
Filters come into play with everything you think, feel, do, see, hear and take action on. If you’re an only child, how different our your formative years from those of a friend who has six siblings? If you grew up n a farm in Manhattan, KS, your images of the world are different from someone who grew up in a high-rise in Manhattan, NY! If your high school graduation class was 55, yet your co-worker’s class was 555: different view of the world.
Your parental influence, your schooling, your gender and your environment all make up what filtered or filters through your head and heart anytime you think, feel or do anything. Filters never sleep; they’re unconscious thoughts or feelings. You seldom if ever argue with yourself about why you want a blue car instead of a white car: it’s your truth. You love bland color clothes, good for you. You like Asian food and detest Italian – your filters, your truth.
A friend whom I respect and adore gave me a book and told me that I’d not only “love” it, but that the author wrote like I did. Wow, who wouldn’t want to read the book? Well, I dove into it, only to find myself bored 25 pages into it! To me, the main characters had no character, the action, non-action. The author writes like I do? – I’m going to take up NASCAR driving! I wanted to love the book, and I didn’t. My friend’s interpretation of the book and mine were polar!
I know that all of you have recommended a movie, a play, a book, a restaurant or even a blind date to a dear friend and they’ve been bored within minutes of the movie, put the book down after six chapters and never picked it back up, wondered what you had for dinner that made the restaurant palatable, or the person a good mate! You shook your head, “What was s/he thinking.” Then again, you may have loved the movie, blind date, et al. Your filters, your truth.
The play, “Next To Normal” is a difficult play to wrap your head and heart around: mental illness is not a ha-ha topic. I asked a friend if it was worth going to and he recommended I keep my ticket and enjoy it; I did. What a fabulous play: actors, voices, action. All amazing – to me, yet the smattering of comments as we all filtered out to the theatre ranged from, “What a waste,” to “That was brilliant,” from “It wasn’t my favorite,” to “I want to see it again.” It’s all our own interpretation.
When you want to argue with someone about something that’s “true” to them, you’re heading into a tree trunk; their truth may never be yours on multiple topics and that’s the joy of the human race. Diversity at its best.
Have a great – all relative to what “great” looks like to you – MKL Day.