We all lose something and someone on an irregular, regular basis. Some of these losses amount to trauma and drama, some of them are just miniscule changes for us to twist around our hearts and heads.
I have a friend whom I’d look forward to seeing most mornings between 5 and 7 a.m. at the gym – my sweat sister! Her last day was Monday; she’s moving farther west and the gym’s inconvenient. It’s a loss for me. I enjoyed having someone to chat and bitch with, do planks, commiserate about life, laugh and just know first thing in the morning. It’s now Friday and I am surviving, but it’s a loss.
How do you cope with the losses in your life? Small, medium, large or huge? Do you understand them? Do you work with and/or around them? Do you hide? Do you change with the loss? I think we all do what we can with the information, energy, emotion and power we have at the time.
Saying goodbye to a friend takes its toll. Losing a loved one definitely adds grief, despair and also anger to our lives, but then again, time is the cure. Losing a job has devastating repercussions. Maybe a divorce. Even when a child goes off to collegel, or a neighbor moves, or a mentor moves on, the loss is a footprint on our souls. We do survive, we just replace the loss with either a different emotion or another person, place or thing.
I’m sorry to see my buddy leave me – in some respect – but I’m also glad that she found the house of her dreams and can move on. Her loss is not only familiarity, but also known entities. She has to start over with everything new in her new house, neighborhood, community, and yes, new gym. I won’t be there to laugh with and at her, to help her through her hours of workout – and pain, nor to smile and help her enter another day in her lives and loves .
How you deal with the small losses in your life are tell-tale situations that create your character and reverberate throughout your personal and professional world. Some of the wee losses – small changes in your life – can create either havoc or healing; it’s up to you. Even the catastophic losses and how you deal with them put a neon sign on your forehead of how you handle other crises at home and work.
Yes, I’ll find another sweat sister, though she won’t be the same. I have the choice to “replace” Julia or sulk. What would you do? I will inevitably workout at my normal 5 a.m. hour and will search for a new plank and play buddy; I’m certain she’s waiting for me too.
Take life and loss in stride. It’s what you’re made of that make others respect and love you. Build up a reservoir of strength and adventure; life’s gonna through some curves and you’ll be ready.
Enjoy the day. (I hope it’s warmer where you are, than here in Denver.)