Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a family feud or split? Well, I’m in the middle of one right now. I have no theories, I can only hold on to my heart and maneuver its strings with the information I have at the moment.
During a separation and divorce both parties see different sides to each situation. I’m amazed at the variations of sides as they take flight. Interesting, that when all are lovey-dovey each dinner, get-together, vacation, bill, etc. seem to work themselves out, but when it’s I versus you, then all Hell breaks loose.
I want to support my family, and I want to stay clear of taking sides. In my heart, though, I have to really give most of my support to my real family member, not my in-law. It’s a quandary.
This emotional tug-of-war also plays a role in the professional world. Do you support your team mate when you know s/he is right even though management may think differently? Do you find yourself at odds when you have to fire someone because of economics, not production? Do you play favorites? No matter what industry you’re in or what size company – unless you’re a sole proprietor – you’re going to find yourself at an emotional tug-of-war at some point.
Do what your heart knows is the right thing to do. What values motivate you to continue on when times get rough or people disillusion you. I know you’ve read the stories of “whistle blowers,” and management misbehavior. What would you have done if those situations surrounded your well being? It’s a tough call, I know, because we’re outsiders looking in. But we’ve all witnessed misjudgments on the part of friends, loved ones, co-workers, supervisors and yes, ourselves. What path created the magnet: the right one, or the I’ll just-go-along one?
Most people want to slink in and out of the cubby holes; not make headlines, not speak out, not take sides. But then, times call for leadership, for standing up for what/whom you believe in. The power of one is a powerful source.
Staying neutral will last for only so long…I think. I’ll listen to both parties tell their sad tales of woe during this separation period, and see if I can keep each person’s trust in tact. It’s a yo-yo. In the working world I did the same, but I also got burned. Politics is alive and well in the corporate, small business, non-profit and personal world. I’m not good at playing games with people, I’m too direct. But, I’ve learned to offer a strong shoulder and ear – for the most part – when someone needs an independent party to talk to or to get feedback: that’s the coach in me.
During office spats, greed, misappropriation, or illegal activities, do what you know to be best for you; follow your high standards and values, and in the end, you’ll win, as will others.