Wow, fear just knocked self-confidence down like a bowling ball in the strick zone. It doesn’t take much for fear to become the shining knight in its own category, but the villian in our world. I don’t know why this happens, I just know I’ve felt it – over and over again.
F.E.A.R: False Accusations Appearing Real. Well, in our hearts and heads, that reality is stronger than we admit, at least for me. Fear comes into play when we allow our mercuiral thoughts of doubt, the unknown and probability to become our stalwart companion. It can knock self-confidence, affirmations and reality off our mental screen. I’m not talking about fear for our lives, I’m talking about the fear – imagined or real – that keeps us from becoming our best. The fear that strangle holds us and keeps us from defining our goals, getting clarity of our future, planning, taking risks and reaching out for possibilities.
How many fears do you have? Fear of failure? Success? Rejection? Finances? Competition? Mistakes? Tomorrow? Who knows how many mental fears lurk in our consciousness and impede our progress. It’s a powerful feeling. It’s like a mental straitjacket. Now that I know what it “looks like” and how I carry it with me, I need to know how to get rid of it!
1. Feel it and let it go. Have you ever felt fear of something that didn’t come to fruition? Most likely. Maybe you thought you were going to lose your job and fear gripped your ever muscle to the point you almost couldn’t work. Then, a week later, you find out there was no need to worry, to fear for that loss. We build up worry and fear as though they were celebrity icons, then they disappear like yesterday’s rain storm. Phew!
2. Give fear little credit. A wee bit of fear is healthy; it may move you to work harder. For the most part though, fear is a barrier, not a break-through to success. “I’m scared I may not do well on my ________.” (Fill in the blank.) “I’m scared s/he won’t like me.” “I’m scared ….” Do these tapes play loudly in your head? If so, rewind them and replay them with different vocabulary: “I’m confident I’ll do well on my exam, presentation, interview, …” “I know s/he’ll like me; I’m a likable and affable person.” “I’m confident that I will succeed in my goals, my career, my marriage, my writings, my ….”
3. Ignor it. Your thought processes allow for you to visualize anything you want. Really. An average adult has over 60,000 thoughts a day. Some you just completely ignor, move on and don’t remember. Others you might allow to rule your every movement during the day, week, month. Ignor the fear; it’ll go away. I promise.
My fear this morning gained momentum when I allowed the mail carrier to rule my life. Yes, the mail carrier. S/he – they change regularly on our route – carries the power to keep my life in check. How? My paycheck is due. It’s actually overdue. It has to be the mail carrier’s fault, it’s not mine. Of course the client mailed it when they said they did – I trust them. Now I have to blame someone. Who better than the USPS?
Why do I let several areas of my life get mired down in fear and repetition of acts that create the fear: 1)Not saving enough money, 2) not preparing monthly for the expenses that I know I have, 3) using the reserves I do have for non-essential living , 4) letting lack, instead of abundance, hold my hand? I can’t answer these questions, right now. But writing them down helps me move out of fear and put my bank and mental balance into perspective. I’m safe! I have what I need. I always do, even if I don’t win the lottery!
Get clear on your present. Visualize the abundance in your life – as I am doing right now – and keep it prominently in front of you – daily. Fear’s only a feeling. Fear’s only a thought. Fear, like hunger can be fed or forfeited. You have the choice. I chose to feed my abundance and my self-confidence this morning. I hope you do too.