Menu of Mirrors – Self Confidence

How often do you let a dream, goal, idea or thought that would be not only fun to do and complete, but also be good for you, escape you?  I have 100 days before my birthday and I made a commitment to myself to blog every day until I turn the calendar over to another year under my legacy. 

Each day we look at ourselves in multiple mirrors:  bathroom, car, glass reflection, exercise rooms at the gym, or just a mental image.  What does that mirror reflect?  Where do your thoughts take you when you look at yourself? Think about the times you looked your best:  a presentation to a client, a wedding, a black-tie event, a weekend with friends and family, a special “date,” pounds lighter after a diet, an interview…the list continues on and on.  Some days when nothing “special” abounds, you may look your best; you feel healthy – mentally, emotionally and physically – your personal and professional lives thrive and all in all, life’s grand;  your self-confidence soars. What a great feeling. And then those days when we feel wretched…? I’ll get to them during the next 99 days.

When self-confidence blooms and takes me wherever I want to go with aplomb, I know I’m unstoppable at whatever projects loom for me that day or week.  Today’s one of those days.  I’m going to write about the mirror – reflection – of self-confidence and see where it leads me.

Self-confidence looks different on all of us.  It speaks to us through our thought patterns and no one can see those.  A boss, prospect, friend, co-worker, client, new “love interest,” or project can feel your energy even though s/he can’t see it.  Self-confidence exudes energy and it’s contageous. Self-confidence breeds self-confidence.

You can’t buy it at WalMart, you can’t buy it from a successful person, you can’t buy it on line, nor turn it in for cash. (Wouldn’t it be wonderful is we could turn our “clunker” thoughts in for cash?  What a great stimulus package!)  Self-confidence comes from repeated successes – and failures that have turned into successes or taught us lessons to help with those successes – and our belief system.  I’m not certain that my self-confidence rode along with me during high school or even through my 20s.  I do know that one day I woke up and had a different view of my world.   If I were to make something of myself, prove to the world that I could be worthy of its recognition, then I had to shape up and approve of myself, my talents and my gifts.  It took at least an hour…okay, maybe six months… for the whole process of understanding myself and recognizing where my gifts lay, to acknowledge that my confidence builds on me, not someone else’s approval; only mine. 

Yes, others’ approval help us, and yet, we must believe in ourselves to help that energy, verve, confidence and success accumulate for others to feel and believe.  Our belief system is our safety deposit box to self-confidence, success and/or failure. 

I’ve made at least one or two poor decisions in my life, and at least one mistake!  Self-confidence exudes  power when it’s awash in my positive belief system.  It disappears when I allow other people to entwine me with  their belief system of me:  “You haven’t amounted to anything.”  “I didn’t learn anything from you.” “You don’t look well.” “You made a big mistake…”  endless muddle from others.  It’s their belief system, not mine.  If they’d said, “Dee, you have green hair,” what would I think?  I know I don’t have green hair; I’d just continue on my day knowing that I have brown hair and that their perception of my hair is totally theirs.

Are you happy at work and play?  Self-confidence needs contentment as its best friend. When you feel insecure about what you’re doing, your self-confidence hides under your desk and other mirrors reflect those thoughts. Shake hands with your self-confidence, let it become your best friend, and nurture and nurish it daily.  When you win, others win with you.   Look at your successful friends; they’re confident about almost all aspects of their lives.  “Almost” is the operative word.

Here’s to your day of  positive belief systems, a growing and nurturing self-confidence, and all the successes you can muster.


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