Common Courtesy

I went to my local library to research materials, check on some books and  movies. When I checked out the man behind the counter said, “You’re the second person in a row with impeccable manners.”  What were the actions or words that the first person and I said that held this man captive to good manners?  A simple, “please,” “thank you,” “sir,”  or good eye contact, or all of them?  I don’t know, I didn’t ask.  I was pleased that it made a difference to him.

Common courtesy are two words that more often than not escape our daily lives and we apparently are used to it.  That saddens me.  Those simple, yet powerful words -please and thank you – may not always be heard, but they are always appreciated when they are heard.  When someone doesn’t abide by the common courtesy of please and thank you, then people roll up their sleeves and ready themselves for either disappointment or confrontation.

I let people into a line a traffic.  Maybe 25 percent acknowledge.  I send someone an article, a card, a referral or an invitation and maybe that percentage jumps to 75.  Why isn’t it 100 percent? 

Acknowledging someone’s phone message or e-mail comes under common courtesy too.  Why do we ignore someone’s request for information, an answer or just a reply – “yes” or “no.”  Sales people are hardened to rudeness and people not calling back to say, “No, thanks, I’m not interested right now.”   “Yes, that sounds great, and please call me in six months.”  Whatever the situation, e-mail takes seconds to respond and yet people don’t take the time.  They do take the time to spend hours if not days on Facebook, but to a majority of people, a quick, “No, thank you,” or any response, seems too much to ask 

I leave messages for people and some of them call right back, others may not even let me know they got the message.  Does the silence tell me that they want nothing to do with me?  Does the silence mean, ” I’ve got more important, more pressing, more valuable duties to perform than to call you back,” “I don’t think you’re important enough to give you a call back”?  I don’t know.  Yes, I too am guilty of this petty rudeness. It’s not a trait that I’m proud of, and I make an effort to call back sales people, return calls to those who leave messages.  The same with e-mail.  I also get bogged down in routine, projects or meetings, and forget to call or e-mail back.  Forgiveness comes to play.

We’re all busy, or at least pretend to be.  Why do we find the time for what we want and requests or comments that are important for us, but don’t give the same respect to those we expect to return our calls or e-mails?  It’s frustrating for me.  Even friends, co-workers, business associates, managers, clients and others sometimes ignore their fellow human’s request for acknowledgement.  That’s sad.

I don’t know the rule – what would Miss Manners say? – for the time to get back to someone on e-mail.  Two days?  Three days?  If no auto responder tells me that someone’s out of the office, I presume s/he’s more than likely at her/his desk at least part of any given day; at least within two days.

Martha calls Rick.  “What happened to our appointed time together yesterday?  Please call me back today (gives phone number),  if possible, or send me an e-mail today and let me know what happened, and when we can reschedule.  Thanks.”  Rick doesn’t answer for three days.  He e-mails to leave some lame excuse for missing the meeting and asks when would be a good time to reschedule.  Martha e-mails right back and gives the day.  Three days again, and she still waits to hear from Rick.  Nothing.  They’re co-workers.  What is it?

Phil needs Barry to sign a PO for some products the department needs to order for the new project.  Barry’s never been one to answer immediately, so Phil sends him the PO a month before it’s actually due, but asks if it will be approved.  Three weeks, nothing.  A phone message to  Barry.  Nothing.  Another e-mail.  His assistant finally writes back that he’ll check with Barry and get back to him.  Three days, nothing. 

I hear and experience bad manners too often.  When are we going to get back to common courtesy?  When are the simple, “please” and “thank you’s” so unusual that they deem a comment from a store clerk, a co-worker, a stranger, a friend, or for that matter, you?  What is your time worth?  What would happen if all your questions were answered either on e-mail or the phone within two days?  What a great place this business community would be.

Impeccable manners take “this long” to implement into your daily lives.  Give the world a pleasant surprise and use them not only daily, but also hourly.  It makes the world a happier and healthier place for all of us.

Business RSVP

Common courtesy, that’s all, common courtesy.  Where have manners gone?  The business world is no different from the social world - asking for information and a  response.  A mere business RSVP is a tool that’s vital for several reasons:

•  It’s a definitive for me.
•  I won’t bother you if I know you don’t want to take my calls, to work with me, to benefit from my services.
• It takes you – the responder – off the hook, if need be. 
• You “invited” me into your world and I followed-up.
•  I “get” it.

The more I talk to sales reps – products and services alike - and other professionals who sell their services, the more I hear of people who get ignored when they follow-up.  Why?  Are you – the prospect – that busy that a two-minute phone call is out of the question? A call to say, “thanks, but no thanks,” or “thanks, but not right now…call me in three months,” takes too long? Maybe you are so busy that a thirty-second e-mail saying the same thing takes up too much of your time.

Why do some business people ask for your business, “invite” you into their office and then ignore you when you follow-up?  I don’t get it.  I don’t understand why you refuse to acknowledge my call or e-mail.  I can take “no thank you,” can’t you?  What I can’t take is the frustration of repeated voice mails, unanswered e-mails, or the “I’ll get that to you tomorrow,” and yet nothing comes “tomorrow.”  This is time consuming for me.

I don’t want to badger you.  I just want to let you know that I followe-up on your request.  If it’s a bad time, then please let me know.  Yes, we’re all so incredibly busy, but I bet you can take time to send an e-mail to your friends, to your prospects, and to your co-workers, as I do.  But wait, that extra few seconds to RSVP to my phone call or e-mail takes too much time out of your busy day?

Yes, I’m guilty of not returning cold calls all the time.  I have called some back to say, “no thanks.”  I didn’t return the call from my dentist telling me I’m overdue for a cleaning, and I need to get my gums downtown.  I will though; It’s just figuring out when to call and schedule the cleaning. 

Terry’s built up a relationship with Fran over the last six-nine months.  Fran’s business is interested in Terry’s  financial services and asked him to send her a proposal.  Terry does so, with vigor.  Writing a proposal – though partially a template – is time consuming.  It also takes some tailoring Fran’s specific line of work and her company’s needs.  The proposal – one-ten pages – equals pride, equals professionalism, and equals care from Terry and his firm, and for Fran and her business needs.   Terry sends the proposal and tells Fran he’ll call her in ten days, if that works. (Ten days seems a healthy amount of time to review a proposal, have a meeting with others who will invest in the proposal, and some decision to be made.)

Ten days go by, Terry calls Fran and gets her voice mail.  “Hi Fran, it’s Terry.  I want to know if you received the proposal and to get your thoughts.  Please call me back, today, if possible, or tomorrow I’m in the office all morning, at 303-555-TIME.  Thanks.”

Five days pass, no returned call.  Terry sends an e-mail.  “Fran, I hope you’ve had the opportunity to read my proposal, check the numbers, and see the benefits and value of hiring our firm to help you.  Please let me know when it’s convenient for you to sit down and discuss ‘next steps.’  Thanks, Terry”

There’s no response.  There’s no signed agreement.  There’s nothing. 

Does this non-response happen to you, or is it only a few of us in this economy?  Let me know how you react to associates, clients, prospects who don’t RSVP to your voice mails or e-mails, even after you have been invited to give them information.

Put RSVP into your business files:

• R – Respect
• S – Sincerity
• V – Value for relationships
• P – Personal commitment

Thanks.  I’ll talk to you later, or at least wait for your e-mail; it’s just common courtesy.

Proofing

Every document from a quick one or two-sentence e-mail to a cover letter, from an executive briefing to a sales letter, and from a memo to a policy and procedure manual must be 100 percent error-free.  No mistakes.  No kidding.

HR professionals are appalled by the typos, sloppiness and blatant misspellings in cover letters as well as resumes.  Executives are miffed by the e-mails sent around the world from the cubicle 500 feet away. What does this say about the writer  What does it say about you if you are guilty?

I’m certain you’ve received an e-mail, letter, attachment, memo or the like that has one or two, or shockingly, up to 10 or more mistakes.  What do you think of the writer?  What is your first reaction to the plea, information, product, appeal?  That’s right – negative thoughts.  Why?

As we write more and more, the English language gets bastardized because of text messaging, carelessness and apathy.  “Just get the words down…now.”  “Who cares?”  “They (the reader) won’t notice.”  What goes through your head when you press the “send” key and your document has error upon error?  Did you notice?  Did you take the time to proof the document?

I’m guilty; I admit.  I conducted a writing class – of all the classes I teach – and two astute attendees pointed out small – but mighty- typographical errors in my workbook.  YIKES.  These reek of sloppy copy.

Take the time.  Notice what your reactions are when you receive something that’s not 100 percent error-free and then place yourself in the eyes of the reader of your missive.  Care about your readers.

I was asked recently to volunteer for a non-profit phone bank.  The thank you and information letter had not one, not two, not three, but 12 errors on the one-pager.  Twelve!  This shocks me. Yourletters are a reflection on the company, product and/or service, as well as the writer!

Take the time to proof.  Give your documents to one, if not two other people to proof.  It’s difficult, if not impossible, to proof your own work, especially from the computer screen.  Others see your mistakes faster than you do.

Watch for your word worries.  I have yet to write “from” initially, it comes out “form.”  “Form” is a word and Spellchecker won’t catch it.  Spellchecker’s an invaluable tool, but don’t depend on it for 100 percent error-free documents.

Here’s to 100 percent. 

 

 

Some Favorite Frustrations in punctuation

The more e-mails that I see,the more pages from websites that I visit, and the more I read documents that come across my computer or desk, the more I notice that the comma and period use with quotation marks have been misused.

When you revisit your e-mails, webpages, and other documents, do you have this punctuation correct?   Anything with quotation marks around it: a name, a thought, an article, or a direct quotation needs to have the comma and/or period inside.   

Let’s get the “prize”. This is wrong.  The period stays inside the quotation marks; therefore, “prize.” It’s also the same for the comma:  it stays inside the quotation marks.

Browse your local newspaper and notice where the commas and periods are placed when the sentence contains quotation marks: they are always inside the punctuation…always.

Examples: He needs to get “a grip.” 

“I don’t know,” remarked Sarah. 

Remember to read, “To Blog or Not to Blog.”

Place your commas and periods where with the quotation marks?  That’s right, inside. (The one exception is when you use parentheses;  I’ll address this later.)

Enjoy,

Dee, Business Writing Coach